One of my biggest pet peeves! I absolutely despise wasting my time. Have you ever been somewhere and wondered why when you could be doing something else? How about being in a situation where you give your all only to end up let down? My favorite, when you’ve already done something for someone and then they change their mind… I know I sound like an infomercial but, seriously! It’s time to stop wasting time. To touch further on the scenarios mentioned, here are my two-cents:
Why Am I Here?!
So, you’re at work and your load is light and after asking other coworkers, nobody has a need for your assistance. You begin playing on your phone or computer, shopping on Amazon, reading horoscopes, and then it dawns on you – I could be doing something else right now! There’s a mountain of laundry at home, my best friend is off work this week, and that couch I want is on a flash sale! With all the time you seem to have on your hands at work, you could throw a load in the washing machine, have a midday drink with your homie and then figure out who is driving to the furniture store for that couch!
If you are anything like me and can’t stand to be idle, then this scenario has definitely touched a nerve LOL! Personally, I don’t want to work a job where I have time to do personal things like shop for Crest White Strips and protective cases for Kindle! If you don’t feel productive, then, my friend, you are wasting your time! Suggestions?
1. You’ve outgrown your job and/or duties and it seems that it may be time for a change. If this is you, attempt to learn and take on new tasks around the job. See if there is a more challenging position open within the company. If this is not an option, then look for a more challenging position elsewhere! If you are self-employed, find a new angle! How can you turn it up a notch?
2. If you don’t want to leave your job, ask if you can change your work schedule to work part-time hours, if you can afford it. Of course, you may not want to disclose that you are bored on the job and make your boss feel a way LOL! But maybe if you worked part-time, those hobbies that you’ve ignored can become your favorite pastime again. Who knows?! It may even make you some money – hint, hint.
3. Alright, so you know you’ve been casually looking for other jobs, but you can’t really afford to work part-time and you’re not ready to leave (even though that awesome position you were eyeing at a major tech retailer was recently posted again). Well then honey, you have to make the job work for you. Instead of shopping though, read a book, start taking online classes, hell, write a book! The hours are fine, the pay is good, so why change?
Maybe, but what if that’s wrong? What if you get too comfortable wasting valuable time and lose your ambition, taking a backseat on your life’s goals and purpose? Flash forward 10 years from now and you’re yelling at your computer screen; not because of mercury retrograde but because that case you want for your Samsung Galaxy Note 20 is no longer in stock! Now you wish you would’ve at least applied for that tech retailer position, so you could’ve had that case, discounted and without worrying about shipping. But who am I to tell you that you should have?
Relationship a Dead-End Like that Job?!
You: “Babe, don’t forget we have tickets to the Beyoncé and Jay-Z concert this weekend. Can’t wait!
Them: “Oh that was this weekend? Damn, I told Travis that I would be there for his birthday party! Take your sister this time? Sorry babe, you know I love you!”
You: “Babe, dinner is ready; I cooked the steak and shrimp just how you like it…”
Them: “Oh, that was tonight? Damn, me and Kevin just grabbed some McDonald’s! I saved you some fries…? Sorry babe, you know I love you!”
During the day: Clothes washed, dished loaded, house cleaned, dinner prepped.
At night: Kids in bed, Hennessy chilled, silk rose petals all around, you – Ready.
Them: “Oh, date night was tonight? Damn, me, Travis and Kevin just pulled up to the strip club! I’m not even driving. Sorry babe, you know I love you!”
1. You need to communicate! Let them know how you feel and leave it to them to change. Trust me, you’ll feel better once you get it off your chest. You’ve done your part, now let’s see if they listen. I mean, don’t just communicate, put your mother f*ing foot down! Let them know what you will and will not tolerate.
2. Try to compromise. Nobody likes to be pushed aside to the back burner, especially after going out of their way to try to make someone happy. You have to communicate first though. Let them in on your issue(s) and see if you can find a balance. Travis and Kevin can have their days, but you have needs too!
3. You’ve communicated and tried to compromise but they ended up at the strip club anyway? Honey, before you have to explain to a Judge that you went all Lorena Bobbitt after planning a sensual evening only to be disappointed by (the victim), who chose to go to the strip club and still thought they were going to get some that night… you may just want to let it go (yes, the situation, the man and the penis, Lorena), and tell him to “call (Travis)!” – in my best Erykah Badu voice LOL – “and tell him come on help you get yo shit!”.
What do you mean, ‘Never-mind’?!
Tomorrow’s your day off, it’s a Friday, and you (mistakenly) broadcast to your friends and social media base what a great day it’s going to be. You can finally make it to that hair and nail appointment you’ve already rescheduled twice; your kids are with Grandma for the weekend, and you don’t have to wake up to an alarm clock. Then, a good friend asks you for a huge favor You’re reluctant at first, but being the good friend that you are, you say “okay”. Turns out she needs a babysitter since her usual go-to wasn’t available. You agree to watch her kid for a few hours while she went to work…
You reschedule your beauty appointments, set your alarm, and move the kids’ toys back to the living room. Your friend can’t thank you enough! You go to sleep, wake up, it’s 7:30 a.m., you’re making breakfast preparing for your friend’s arrival. Breakfast done, it’s now 9:00 a.m. and still, no kid. At 9:20 a.m. there’s no kid, no call, nothing, so you call your friend: “Hey, aren’t you late for work? I thought you would be here by 8:15 a.m.”. Your friend replies, “Oh girl, my bad, I forgot to call you and tell you never-mind…” Speechless, you hang up the phone and look at the toys and smiley faced pancakes and lose your shit! Options (LOL!!)?
1. Well, there’s really no way you could’ve known that they, or anyone, would change their mind but that doesn’t mean you can’t be mad about it! Don’t hold a grudge. Tell them about themselves; you know, in a ‘good friend’ kind of way 😊
2. Confirm, confirm, confirm! Call them, text them, send airmail, whatever! Just make sure they still need you before you change all your plans. Had you called the night before, you probably would’ve known and been able to still be Fly-Girl the next day. Even if they didn’t know at that time, there would’ve been that opportunity to remind them to CALL YOU IF ANYTHING changed, considering the fact that you kind of didn’t want to do it in the first place.
3. You’ve communicated and confirmed? It can’t get any more last minute than this! You need to learn to say ‘no’. Practice in the mirror. People come to you likely because they can ALWAYS count on you to say ‘yes’. That’s great and all, but now look at your hair!